You read that I might have an Elephant in my Suitcase, well I do and I don’t!  I certainly have an Elephant banging around in my head trumpeting for a nice adventure.  Been a flippin long time since packing a bag for an adventure into unknown territory, and I am becoming more restless by the day.  It is claimed these beautiful tusked giants have good memories – I am living on fumes at this stage, memories are slipping away into the blue yonder – ho hum, perhaps a mini stuffed Dumbo safety-pinned onto my handbag will help, whilst mindfulness is perfected to bridge the gap.

Yes, some of you are brave and have made it abroad recently but contemplating all it sends ME into “overwhelm”.  A ‘normal’ flight to get to the UK, for instance, takes us approximately 24 hours from door to door…… and heck it’s hell traveling with myself – let alone accompanied by an ADHD, impatient giraffe who cannot fit his legs into a sardine class airplane seat. He claims to get no sleep and that it is an exhausting flight for him.  Tell you something for nothing, for me it is not much fun either,  being squeezed into the middle seat (because I am small hah) designed for midgets without arms, sharing my leg room with said Giraffe and honky-tonk breath as a neighour in seat 3 (seat 3 and a half because stranger is overweight and swells into  my space).  Never again, please God – no middle seat.

New Conceptual Airplane Seat, Sam Chui photograph

Conceptual Airplane Seat, Sam Chui Photograph

Just asking – have you seen HAVE YOU SEEN 🙁  the Aviointeriors conceptual seats for new planes?  They are sort-of double decker without a deck in-between.  The seats are staggered in the air – so if you don’t choose your number wisely you might just have someone passing wind in close proximity to your nose – very close proximity.  The interviewer on the program I watched asked guests if they would be happy with this new design.  The older folks, from 40 upwards, were stunned by this revolting new design but youngsters quite happy if they make air travel cost friendly. Funny what one accepts in youth.  Unsuitable friends, mismatched lovers, stupid careers, sleeping on floors in filthy shared apartments in the backwaters of cities and holey clothes (with “houding” – who knows what houding is :o)

Honestly, I’d rather ride a grasshopper than be messed around by canceled flights, visa issues, extra insurance – with small print to navigate since covid, swarming airports pumping out nasty viruses, accosting customs officials waving needles and the chance of being locked down in a county whose exchange rate would make me take a second mortgage to pay for a few weeks, or months, solitary confinement in a dingy hotel whose windows are locked.  I’d be stomping around like a bull in musth.

The tolerance level and stress of all this shit has taken it’s toll on my HSP temperament and packing a 7kg suitcase seems small in the big scale of things.  Once packing was a challenge – how to squeeze 5 or so week’s belongings (for summer and winter climates, same trip) into hand luggage.  Most certainly fitting an elephant into a suitcase.

An Elephant and my Handbag

My Elephant mascot

On top of that – casual smooth conversation does not exist any more, no longer only the rule of – “avoid discussing money, politics and religion”, everyone feels differently about who has world control of money, global warming, impending starvation and depravation, the threat of war, the effing injection and the disease that has tormented the earth.  I am actually fed up (‘gatvol’) to the back teeth and going to rename my blog a Cobra in my Suitcase. Whatcha think?

So where to next, Elephant Island off the coast of Antarctica – to watch the Northern Lights, sky gazing lying on my back in an ice igloo,  yessss please.  Might that tick your box also? Tusc-any  – of course, everyone wants to visit Florence in Italy.  Gelato and Pizzas your cuppa tea?  Maybe Chiang Mai, Thailand – the Centre of Elephant tourism where they have jungle sanctuaries and everything “elephant” for you?

Until next time, keep well and keep dreaming.